Everything is okay

We went to the doctor yesterday morning.  Never have I been more scared in my life.  I showered as much with my own tears that morning as I did with actual water...all the while praying that God would work His will and help me be okay whatever that meant.

Well, the midwife was able to get me in for an appointment at 9:00am.  I got excused from class for the day by a very understanding professor who basically forbade me from setting foot in her classroom that day (she has three children).  Dahmon was told to "just leave" by his professor, so he met me at the clinic.  When he walked in, sat down next to me, and just held me, I started crying in earnest.  He was my support, and I'm very glad that he can maintain a calm demeanor when I'm freaking out.  =)

Anyways, they got us in and I nearly lept for joy when the midwife was able to find the heartbeat almost immediately (though my fear did not allow me to believe her until I had my hand on my own pulse and verified for myself that it was not my heart that we could hear).  Baby's heart is still going strong.

But what was causing the bleeding?  Turns out that I had something called a subchorionic hemorrhage.  This is basically when a blood vessel below a placenta disconnects or doesn't connect properly.  A pool of blood can form, and uteri do not like blood in them.  Therefore, my uterus was dispelling the blood that had collected due to a broken blood vessel under the placenta.  The ultrasound tech said that sometimes the hemorrhage can cause a miscarriage, depending on how much of the placenta separates from the uterine wall, but in our case we should be fine.  I am, however, ordered to take it easy for the next couple of weeks.  The midwife warned me that there may continue to be some bleeding for up to a week or so, but that these hemorrhages have a habit of healing themselves.

So we learned something now, gained a whole new appreciation of the fragility of life from an angle I don't care to revisit, and got a new picture of Little Bit.  What a lot of growth in 3 weeks!  (See previous post for ultrasound at 11 weeks).

I got tickled because Dahmon commented that Baby wasn't moving.  The technician shushed him, saying that he'd jinx things (she was trying to get measurements that are really hard to get on a moving baby).  Sure enough, our little Dibbun started moving.  Secretly, I was relieved - after a scare like that and almost 24 straight hours of pure adrenaline, Baby moving was the best thing it could have done for Momma's sanity!

Praise the Lord for the blessing of protecting our child during what could have threatened Baby's life!  To God be the glory of the creation of life in the first place, and for being my comfort during the entire ordeal.  We'd contacted a number of friends and had them praying - seriously it was only God and the solidarity of concerned friends that got me mentally through all of this.  Oh, and Dahmon of course.  =)