/inhale "We can do this."

Not gonna lie, the last few weeks have been super stressful on a number of levels.  My academic load has been heavy and will continue to be so for awhile.  Work has not been the most restful of places (though anyone's work usually isn't unless they are paid to test mattresses or something).  AND a baby is on his way, due to make his appearance in just over 6 weeks.

Six weeks.  Good grief.

Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to having my little boy in my arms, but there is an overwhelming sense of "can we really do this?" that has been plaguing me for awhile.  Dahmon says that he is experiencing abject terror, a terror that will subside after Young Son is out of college.  :)  I've just been very "how in the world are we going to do this?"

And then God brings friends to mind, wonderful friends who have supported us through this entire pregnancy and offered words of encouragement, kindness, and prayer.  Family, people from both of our schools (Hamline and Luther Sem), people from our various work places, people who live and have lived with us, friends from church - all of these people have helped me remember to breathe and to feel like we can actually raise this child, that the first few months are always tricky, and that no matter what God is present.

I am not kidding in the least by saying that without our friends and family, I would not have thought that raising this child, finishing school during the first few months of his life, and continuing to work would be possible.  Through God things are possible, I know, but worry is easy.  You have all been amazing - you will NEVER know how much you have all helped me in this time of preparation (especially given that my family all live so far away).

OH, and a recent belly pic:

Week 32:

Don't judge, people! Yeesh.

So here's something I didn't expect.  If you've glanced at this blog you know I'm pregnant - 31 weeks and counting (one website says that makes Baby 7 months along, another says 8).  At this point in the pregnancy, I've gained about 30 lbs.  Only approximately 3 of that is currently Drexel (whose middle name has been decided upon, by the way: Enoch)...which leaves 27 lbs to everything else...including a decent amount of retained water.

As a consequence of this retained water and other poofiness due to the ingestion of much vanilla ice cream, my fingers are poofier than they were even a month ago.  Typically I'm sporting 4 rings: wedding/engagement, a man-made sapphire, and a flower.  About a month ago the sapphire ring broke, so it is unwearable.  The flower was getting just a bit snug, so I took it off.  Then about a week ago, I had to remove my wedding/engagement rings because they were getting so tight that Dahmon and I were concerned about the possibility of their having to be cut off in the delivery room once Drexel makes his arrival.  Makes more sense to take the rings off now while they can still come off than to wait until they are in danger of choppage.

So I've been ringless for the last week or so.  No big deal, right?

Keep in mind that I also look young for my age.  Despite the fact that I'm 23, I can easily pass for 16 or 17 and in fact have caused a few jaws to drop when I've told people that um, yeah, I've been married for 4.5 years.  = )  Now, in life Dahmon and I are each accustomed in our own ways to being the oddball.  He's the super smart one who knows a little bit about everything and a lot about a lot of things.  I'm the quirky one who says off-the wall things sometimes.

However, being ringless + being pregnant + looking young for my age = lots of judgmental looks from people who don't know me.  I walk around in public, and people first try not to make it obvious they are staring at my tum tum (okay people, news flash: I know I look like a pear, it is okay to stare just don't touch without asking or you might get slapped).  Then I see them look for the ring, and then a frown suddenly appears on their face.  Hmmmmmmm.

Now, I am of the firm opinion that sex is something to be held within the confines of marriage.  Let's just get that right out there - I think sex is a wonderful, beautiful act between a man and a woman who love each other and are bound by marriage.  I'm not happy when I find out a teenage girl is pregnant, BUT I still love her.  I find it interesting that so many people jump to frowning when they don't see a ring on my finger and they think I'm a teenager.

Today I went to Target and bought one of their cheapo rings that is big enough to withstand the rest of this pregnancy, hopefully.

Let's try being a little less judgmental, people...mmkay?  Good grief.